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How to Raise an Ally (step one of many)


If we want our next generation to grow up with a voice and use it to make a difference, we need to start leading by example. In a world that seems to be becoming ever more polarising whether that be socially, politically or even arguments over the planet hitting an environmental disaster; how can we ensure to leave them a world where kindness and acceptance are no longer sort after characteristics, but the norm.

What does it mean to be an ally?

At its heart, being an ally means standing up for others. Being able to tap into empathy and compassion for someone and offering them help in being heard. The term 'allyship' has been thrown around a lot in regards to discourse around race and how others can rally with them to help change the attitudes towards them. But it goes much deeper than that, 'allyship' can and should be offered to anyone in need of it.

There are some mixed opinions of a child's understanding of empathy, some have come to the conclusion that the understanding comes around the age of four, however Dr. Abigail Gewirtz, a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota, and author of When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids speaks about the understanding of empathy in our younger generations.

“Empathy starts very young—we can see empathy in babies as early as a few months old,” she says. That means that even very young children have the ability to put themselves in other people’s positions. They also have a natural desire to help others. As parents, it’s our job to help kids develop that natural empathic capacity, and then to help them understand that when they see injustice, they can do something about it.”


So how can we help our kids understand how to be part of the good fight?

Firstly think about language and actions, take an honest assessment of how you see the world and how you express that to and around your children. Honesty is key, but they observe actions more than anything. They notice kindness and respect, in and out of the home.


Build a culture of empathy at home through a diverse selection of books and toys. Use stories and play to help your children understand that no matter how we look, sound, or how able we might be, we all deserve the same respect and empathy shown to our family and peers. Play is proven to be one of the most significant forms of learning for children, whether this is developing motor skills at an early age, or learning to process stress and develop social skills within groups, it all makes an impact.


Make a plan... It can be intimidating to speak up for someone else when no one else wants to, more for fear of being the next target. Of course you want them to stay safe, but messages like ‘don’t get involved, you’ll get hurt’ constructs their attitude towards help in a negative way. Changing the narrative and developing the skills to understand the safety of the situation means they can learn when it’s safe for them to intervene, or if an adult is needed to resolve the conflict.

  1. Comfort the person hurt

  2. Go find an adult or offer to go with the other person to find someone

  3. Know when to walk away from danger and find an adult

These three options help our youngsters to learn and process what is happening around them, understand how to respond, and not endangering themselves.



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